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2023: The Year of Treading Water

31 Sunday Dec 2023

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I look back over the past year, and realize just how much has happened, how hard it’s been, and how little I’ve written about the whole thing. Jenny retired. I trained with a new guide dog who, in October, was diagnosed with a mast cell tumor that thankfully got removed but resulted in a complicated healing process. My schooling misadventures feel like how I tried to write about them earlier this year – fits and starts and momentum and slammed-on brakes. We adopted a fourth cat. I’m going through a period of self-discovery that I’m not ready to discuss yet, but it does bear mentioning here because it’s part of all the things I’ve done in 2023 and will move forward into 2024.

In short… this year has been harder than I ever expected it to be. I feel like I’ve spent most of it treading water, being handed a lifeline (like a new opportunity), and then getting buried by another wave that might not be really massive, but certainly feels like it. But for the first time in most of a year or maybe longer, I feel like I’m breathing now. I know more about what I need to cope, and hope in 2024 I can share more about this self-discovery journey I’m on… but first let’s look back over 2023, such as it was.

Jenny’s Retirement

Jenny has been retired for nearly a year. She showed me in very real ways in the fall of 2022 that she was ready. My decisive dog – who made even incorrect decisions with 100% confidence – was reluctant to make decisions if there was more than one option. I still tear up thinking of the ways she tried to gently tell me she was ready – being more interested in hanging out with other people, general restlessness, slowing down on routes – until she told me in the most obvious way she knew how that she just was ready to be done. She loves retirement, but whenever I can I love taking her on leash trips to pet-friendly places; she loves those trips, too. She loves curling up and napping in her crate, enthusiastically greets me and Yasha, her successor, whenever we get home from work. She’s made friends with our newest cat, who I am convinced should’ve been born a dog. Her life is about snuggles and playtime and love, and she’s loving retirement!

Introducing: Yasha

IN January, 2023, I took a trip to Guiding Eyes for the Blind in New York to train with a 3-year-old yellow Labrador named Yasha. They tell you not to, but I had a hard time not comparing her to Jenny. Both girls are smart, both are stubborn. But where Jenny thought everything work-related was a new adventure and would do just about anything unless there was a very compelling reason not to do that thing, Yasha is more cautious and insists on a “business plan” as to why my decision(s) should override hers. The first year has been challenging in a way Jenny’s first year with me was not. I took her to the vet in October because I had some concerns about some symptoms and behaviors, and it turned out that she had a mast cell tumor. We spent most of October and November in and out of the vet – removal of the tumor, suture check post-surgery, redoing sutures when one or two blew out 10 days post-surgery, redoing sutures ten days after the first set was re-done, staples ten days later because it was clear sutures weren’t working, and then removal of the staples and hoping for the best when all of those didn’t hold. Thankfully, her prognosis is good, and her surgical site has healed over and is growing fur again!

But our first year wasn’t all about surgeries and vet visits – thankfully! We got to travel this year. Our first trip, to Vancouver, was a good experience for us. Like me, people in my life seemed to compare her to Jenny; or at the very least made comments about her hard-headedness, while I was trying to pick my battles with my new young dog. Our trip to California in December was a great team-building experience, because for the most part, it was her and I taking on Sacramento and San Francisco – areas I knew only slightly. She freaking rocked it, and loves the challenge of new places. One of her fun quirks is her “regrouping” strategy; if she figures out that neither of us know what we’re doing, she’ll take me to an out-of-the-way space to take a deep breath, get our bearings, and then come up with a game plan. She’s found great places to do this (like out of the way corners), and less than ideal ones (like bike racks), but I love her intuitiveness and how we are connecting in these ways. As I come up to one year with this smart, stubborn, serious working dog, I am glad we’ve had these times together, and I look forward to so many more adventures.

Yasha, a Yellow Lab, is wearing a teal body suit, and she is laying across my lap. This photo was taken not long after her surgery.

So… we Have a Whole Menagerie!

Jenny retired, I trained and brought home Yasha. My partner trained with and brought home a new service dog of his own. So, in the span of about 3 months, we adopted Madonna (a cute white and black cat that everyone calls “Maddie”), and brought home two new Labrador service dogs. This meant our household included 3 Labrador retrievers, three cats, and two humans.

So what did we do?

We adopted another cat. This one, a boy. Wiley is sweet and funny and a little bit foolish – how else can you describe laying in the middle of the floor, getting tripped on, and still not moving? We named him Wiley because he convinced us that he was a chill, mellow marshmallow of a cat… and then started tipping over water bowls in his excitement to go to a new home. He likes to sit beside me when i drink my coffee in the mornings, and can make a cat toy out of just about anything. Wiley is so sweet. He gets along with the dogs (Yasha’s his best friend in the whole wide world), loves Maddie, doesn’t mind getting bossed around by Monkey, and is still figuring out how not to get the crap beaten out of him by Wolfie. That last one is a work in progress.

Our menagerie makes us laugh every single day. Whether Jenny is trying to play with Wiley, or Monkey’s finding interesting and bizarre places to nap, or Yasha is throwing toys at whoever she wants to play with her… I laugh every single day. There’s almost always someone to snuggle with. There will always be fur on my floors, and I’ve made peace with that; but the love and laughter is worth more to me than perfectly clean floors.

School Is… School!

I’ve written before about how school is going. It’s been great in some areas and extremely frustrating in others. I’ve had course coordinators and tutors be extremely supportive – from making accessible format materials and answering all my questions, to the point of contacting accessibility services on my behalf because “it’s your job to learn the material, and it’s my job to make sure that happens” – and those that were much less helpful. I am finishing two courses right now for which I’ve requested extensions while starting two new ones. Online education for me has been a mixed bag, and I do want to write more about it as I move along this journey. But right now, writing about it seems counter-productive; it feels like I should be doing the school things, rather than writing about them.

Cool Unexpected Opportunities

As much as it feels like I didn’t do much in 2023 because I was so busy treading water and putting one foot in front of the other, I stumbled into some cool new opportunities this year. A friend reached out to me late in 2022 about a local docuseries about guide dogs she was participating in, and thought I could share my story too. At the time, Jenny’s retirement was imminent, and I felt it was just the wrong timing, especially with that experience being so raw and training with a new unknown dog, so I let it go and didn’t contact the creators and (I realize now) just hoped it would go away. But life has a funny way of throwing opportunities back at you. Next thing I knew, I was being interviewed on camera, talking about guide dogs, and – after a few months – viewing the final product. Edmonton’s Guide to Guide Dogs debuted in September and can be found on Youtube and Telus Optic TV. I’m glad I was a part of it, and hope it can entertain and educate about the important work that guide and service dogs do in our city.

On top of that, this year found me opening the door to becoming a real published author! I am one of 15 authors whose stories will be shared in an upcoming publication “Run for your Life”, which will be released in March, 2024. The writing was both easier and harder than I thought it would be; I’d written about running for years now. But telling your story as it is intertwined with other peoples’ is a complicated business. how much can you tell of your story without veering off-course and telling the stories that truly belong to others? I think I succeeded in telling my story, and am excited to hold in my hands a real physical book with my name in it!

Speaking of running… I ran my fastest half marathon in years in Edmonton in August! I also ran the Vancouver Half in May, and had a wonderful time! And in December I ran/walked a marathon! I went back to Sacramento to run the California International Marathon, even though I found out in July that the support that’s been provided to visually impaired runners for the past 15 years would no longer be provided. My training was insufficient (I had a hard time training with guides this fall), and my lack of motivation didn’t help. But I crossed the finish line and made a new friend in my guide runner in the process.

So… now what?

Normally, my partner and I light a fire and burn all the paper and cardboard things we’ve accumulated during the year as a symbol of ushering out old things so we can move forward in the new. But it’s so dry and warm that we have no snow to buffer against the fire. So… I guess… I’m thinking about the fire that will be whenever it’s safe to do so. I’m thinking about all of my hopes for 2024; more writing, more jewelry making, and maybe more music. I plan to run a marathon in 2024, but I will be careful about the race I choose, and make sure ahead of time that I’m able to secure guides regularly to train – the past two years have not made this possible. I hope to get through school and re-discover the joy an excitement that I only now realize has been left behind in much of the frustration I’ve faced over the past few months.

In short… In 2024, I just hope. I hope to breathe. I hope for strength. I hope for grace. And I hope 2024 is gentler to me than 2023 has been.

However the past year has been for you, I hope the coming year brings you love, peace, rest, discovery, joy, and productivity – in whatever healthy ways those things look like for you.

The UBC Back to School Edition: Detour #2

07 Friday Apr 2023

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OK, I did not take one detour on my path to my certiciate. I took two!

In hindsight, which is always 20/20, my first detour was probably more of a catering for my need for validation than an actual practical need on my education journey.

This second one? I 100% believe I needed it.

Admn 100 – or, as I have affectionately dubbed it, “Business Math for Dummies.” – was both incredibly useful and incredibly frustrating for me. I re-discovered my hatred of fractions, and that I am surprisingly good at graphing equations non-visually. But there were some difficulties that I didn’t know about, and wouldn’t have known until partway through the course.

First off, my textbook was an etext. I’ve written before about the etext book. This one was easy enough to navigate, though I can’t say I was a big fan of the chapters and units in the textbook collapsing, and needing to expand them, rather than going and moving seamlessly and directly from one unit or section to another. Using a braille display was absolutely essential for me to quickly read any formulas, though this was not completely seamless either (it was almost impossible to tell if a numerical value was a fraction). But overall, the textbook experience was relatively simple.

The practice exercises in the textbook were doable, but I found myself going back and forth between the textbook and my computer’s calculator. The same for using the practice exercises online – with the added fun of the exercises being technically accessible (I could do them, but not without a bunch of frustration and scrolling up and down on my screen).

Enter the veritable needle in a haystack experience that was finding a talking financial calculator.

I did find one, which does much of what I needed to. However, there was only one distributor I could find in North America, which meant I paid a small fortune for shipping, plus the exchange rate. I am only now (as of about 24 hours ago) finding a couple of shortcomings with the calculator that, again, I would probably have known had their been more accessible options out there.

And the quizzes… did I mentioned I hate fractions?

Join me tomorrow when I tell the whole story behind the “it’s just a few things” inaccessible quiz experience.

The UBC Back to School Edition: A Brief Detour

06 Thursday Apr 2023

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When I first registered for school, I thought I would jump headlong into my degree. But the more I thought about it, the less confident I felt about this school thing. What IS expected of me? Can I manage my time well? is there something I’m missing here? And I figured I had better find out now with a course that didn’t count toward my certificate, rather than finding out later that I couldn’t study and work and train for races (and guide dogs, as it later turned out, though I didn’t know that at the time).

Enter Comm 100 – a course I affectionately dubbed “University for Dummies”.

The first thing I noticed about this course was that it contained a physical (printed) textbook. I chose to purchase the electronic copy of my textbook, just as a fact-finding mission. Other than that, I was good to go.

I learned a few things about myself during this course.

The textbook encouraged keeping a learning journal, which I kept up for about two months (one third of my course contract). But I found that was just one more thing to do, and I wasn’t getting a lot of value out of it. That might change one day, but maybe journalling isn’t for me.

I was consistent in my study habits… when I was studying. But I was not consistent with the course, in general. I found that I had great chunks of time (even as long as a month) where I would not even think about the course, or the textbook. I finished not long before my course contract end date, quite possibly because I knew I had the time and flexibility, and knew I would finish the course in the end. Not my finest confession, but I am being honest about being a student and prone to a certain amount of socially conditioned procrastination.

This course was easy to follow, with little tidbits about time management, note-taking, and critical thinking. It was not overly difficult, with the exception of the final paper which stressed me out immeasurably. There were lessons on finding sources, evaluating those sources, and general writing principles, but the paper felt like it was tagged on at the end – like a final exam without a final exam. Or maybe I just don’t like papers?

This little detour probably was not necessary, from an academic standpoint. However, I’m glad I took it – it showed me a few not-so-flattering truths about my study habits.

And because one detour wasn’t enough… I took another.

Come back tomorrow for that lovely journey.

The UBC Back to School Edition: You’re studying… What?

04 Tuesday Apr 2023

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As it has been pointed out to me that it looks like UBC (University of British Columbia) might have something to do with my educational journey, it might be worth clarifying that I am not currently, not have I ever, attended the University of British Columbia. The “UBC” in this case represents the Ultimate Blog Challenge, where bloggers write a post a day for the whole month. The fact that an educational institution is in my blog post titles beside the words “Back to School” is something that never occurred to me… and that I find quite amusing.

OK, so I decided that maybe I could do this back to school thing. I’m smart, I like to learn things… so maybe I just need something that I find both practical and interesting. What could be easier?

Nooooo problem!

Not so fast there! There are a lot of things I could study. So where do I start?

The idea of pursuing a four-year degree seemed just as daunting in 2022 as it did when I graduated from high school. But Athabasca University had certificate programs. I could do that! I could try this school thing, get a shiny piece of paper at the end of it, and not be committed to a full degree (however long that would take, given I could not commit in time or funds to a full course load). And if I did like it? I could have a degree!

I seriously considered the certificate in French Language profficiency. I honestly can’t recall the reasons I chose not to pursue it; I think I had too many flashbacks from high school and not being certain if I could read the braille course materials I was sometimes given (French has its own braille code, complete with contracted combinations of letters, and I never did learn it well). School should be interesting and informative, not unnecessarily stressful. So… Next!

I found the Certificate in Accounting. Maaaaybe…. but it seemed too corporate for me. Something to think about, perhaps?

OK, what about the Certificate in Human Resources and Labor Relations? It’s interesting… but what would I do with it?

And then, as if it fell from the sky, I found the Certificate in Finance. It ticked all of my boxes: practical, interesting, can ladder into a degree if I want it to. Even the courses that didn’t interest me… interested me! I had some flexibility in electives, but most of the courses I would choose as electives would be part of my required courses anyway. And I know for a fact that I’ve been passed over for career opportunities because I didn’t have any financial background. I found a winner!

But I chose to take a little detour along the way. And I’m glad I did.

The UBC Back to School Edition: Next Faltering Steps

03 Monday Apr 2023

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A conversation on a Tuesday afternoon pushed me in to thinking about my life and education. I’m not sure it was meant to start something like this, but it did. Names have been withheld to protect the identity of those who are responsible for encouraging this wild adventure. Dialogue is created from the best of my memory, which as we all know can be both amazing and subject to human frailty.

“So… you don’t have a degree…?”

I get this a lot. Given the types of jobs I’ve had and the industries I’ve worked in, I suppose it is surprising that I haven’t been in any type of formal classroom for nearly twenty years.

Then I tried to explain why. I couldn’t find anything interesting to study, I didn’t have the time. I didn’t have the funds. I just wasn’t cut out to be a student. I’d get bored or frustrated and really, what was the point?

“Have you heard of Athabasca University? They might have what you’re looking for. You can still work and study at the same time.”

I’d heard of Athabasca University, an online university headquartered out of Alberta with students located all across Alberta, Canada, and internationally. Many students work or raise families while still pursuing their education. Could I make the time to pursue education, and still maintain my job?

“I had this neighbor once… she got her teaching degree from Athabasca. It took her nine years while she was raising her kids, but she got it done and went on to teach for 25 years.”

“But… I’m just not… a student!” (yes, I remember saying this)

“Why not? You’re smart. If you find something that interests you, it might be worth looking in to. It doesn’t hurt to look.”

So, I went home. And started searching. I looked at Athabasca University’s web site, asked around about students’ experiences, and started looking at faculties. I found certificates, diplomas and degrees, all of which I could study at my own pace around my job and racing schedule. The freedom – along with the realization that maybe I could do this – was intoxicating…. so long as I could find something to study.

So… what would I study?

Come back tomorrow and I’ll tell you more.

The Ultimate Blog Challenge, Part 3: The Back to School Edition

01 Saturday Apr 2023

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So here I am with such great and grandiose plans. I’ve written one whole post on this blog in the past three months – about retiring my beloved guide dog, Jenny. In the past three months, I’ve gone to guide dog school to train with Guide Dog 2.0, and we’re working on cementing our bond and making us a smooth-moving guide dog team, rather than two near strangers who sometimes don’t communicate well. I’m training for a half-marathon in May, because I haven’t had time or inclination to train for a full. So what makes me think that I can write a blog post every single day for this whole month?

For one, I’m persistent (sometimes). If I really want to do this, I will make it happen. For another, I’m a student, by golly, and with that comes a certain amount of socially conditioned procrastination. Why study when I can blog about studying?

But seriously… I’ve been a student for six whole months now. I’ve gotten one final class grade. I’ve had good times and frustrating experiences. Finally – let’s be honest – I will probably never have another opportunity when I will have enough free time to do this. There’s only one course for me to procrastinate on (I mean complete) this month, and I’m half-marathon training again for a race in May. Starting May 1, I’ll have two courses to complete, in addition to working, in addition to whipping my butt into shape to run a full marathon in December. So… in short… why not?

I don’t know what directions this blog challenge will go. It may look like my desk – chaotic and messy. It may eventually be wrangled into some sort of order. It might just flow naturally. I don’t know. But I want to chronicle the start of my post-secondary journey before things get harder, and I have final exams and more accessibility issues and… life!… to worry about.

If any of my loyal readers have burning questions, this month is an open slate. Ask anything school-related. I’ll answer when I can! This is to say, whenever I’m looking for reasons to turn away from my textbooks.

Hanging up the Harness: On Guide Dog Retirement

14 Saturday Jan 2023

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UPDATE: April 2, 2023: I finally found the video of the naughtiest and most hilarious thing Jenny has ever done. Enjoy!

Last night, after a long work day, Jenny and I made our way to one of my favourite restaurants in the city and met a few friends – new and old – to celebrate Jenny’s life as a guide dog and her well-deserved retirement. OK, let’s face it, it was for the humans… but Jenn did get to break a few rules, like accepting pets under the table and giving kisses to one of her favourite humans while he put a snazzy new bandana on her.

Over fried chicken, Dorito mac and cheese, and dog-themed beers, my friends and I laughed and joked and talked about this incredible dog and the career she has had. And as I am mentally processing her retirement and training with my next dog, it seems only fitting to pay tribute to her on a blog that has seen her grow up from a rookie guide dog into the wise old soul that she is.

Jenny’s Career, By the Numbers

Number of years as a guide dog: 9.365 (exact calculation since graduation on October 3, 2013)

Number of hours she’s slept under a desk: 16,000 and probably more (40 hours a week for 50 weeks over 8 years and a bit – more, if you don’t count the time she spent hanging out with me while I spent a year job hunting)

Number of jobs she’s accompanied me to: 6

Number of job interviews she’s barked in: 1 (see below for more on that)

Number of kilometers we’ve run together: I stopped counting ages ago – 1500? 2000? More?

Number of finish lines she’s been at: 8 – 3 as a runner, 5 as a “spectator” (read: napping until she notices I’m there and then wiggling her bootie off)

Number of flights she’s been on: 50? Probably more

Number of provinces she’s visited: 6, possibly 7 (BC, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Ontario, Quebec, and maybe – as a rookie but I always forget what year I went – Nova Scotia)

Number of states she’s visited: 8 (Washington, Oregon, California, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, New York)

Number of cats she’s lived with: 7 – not all at the same time, don’t worry!

Number of doggie friends she’s made: too many to count

Number of human friends she’s made: Everyone, ever – unless you are one specific individual who will remain nameless because they hold the strange distinction of being the only person on this planet that Jenny has not liked

But it’s not Just about the Numbers

Of course it isn’t. You don’t live with another being, day in, day out, for years, and not feel like you know them better than you know yourself. Jenn’s made it easy; she communicates extremely effectively – I once wrote that no one needs a Jenny dictionary. I’ve written a lot about Jenny on this blog – she inspired my first tattoo, made me a runner, and has otherwise taken the world by storm. She has done absolutely nothing half-way – when she’s on, she is on, and when she’s not, she is so very very off. I am convinced she took pandemic shut-downs personally, because after periods of isolation she brought her A game to guiding, as if to say “If you were giving me a break, I’ll show you I didn’t need one; I’ll be the best guide dog ever so you’ll take me more places!” She has known that she’s known that she’s known that she’s right, and has still had the confidence to allow me to make colossal mistakes and then just sit down, head cocked to the side, nudging me with her nose as if to say “When you’re done not listening to me, we have places to go.” Her quick thinking has saved me from getting hit by inattentive or illegal drivers at least two dozen times during her working life, and probably more that I don’t know about. She’s traveled to New York City, one of the busiest, bustlingest cities in the world; crammed herself in the back of a Nissan Altima for a whirlwind awesome road trip; traveled alone with me for nearly a month, visiting new cities every few days… and a bunch more adventures in between. She’s raced with me to finish lines, trained me to finish lines, and met me at finish lines when she decided that she was so over this running thing. Jenny’s not-so-tiny body has squeezed under seats on airplanes, in trains and cars and buses, at concerts and hockey games and plays and operas. She’s guided through crowds so big and loud I couldn’t hear myself think, and shown initiative when I felt so lost and confused that she just knew that if she found something – anything – familiar, we’d put our heads together and we would be OK. Her emergency surgery and miraculous recovery confirmed for me that I am a much better traveler with a harness in my left hand than a cane in my right.

I heard for years that, when your dog is ready to retire, they will tell you. I believed that saying, in a way, but not really. But much like making a soul-deep connection you never knew you needed, you’ll never really know until it happens, and then you know. I knew there would be a time when Jenny’s age would make it likely that she’d slow down, but I never thought we’d be in a time where it was obvious – she was done. And, in her subtle yet in-your-face style, Jenny has shown that she is ready to hang up the harness, whether I am ready or not.

I could go on here for pages and pages about my thoughts and feelings during this time of transition from one dog to another. Maybe one day I will. But for now, this space is for Jenny, to honour her and her amazing brain and personality – and by extension her amazing career as a guide dog – and how she’s done everything she’s ever done with her whole heart. Those of you who’ve met Jenny during her long and amazing career, please chime in here; I’d love to remember with you.

And because I am extremely emotional right now, and need a good laugh, please find:

The Top 5 Naughtiest – And Most Hilarious – things Jenny has Ever done In harness

5. Barking – once – at a dog mannequin in Old Navy – it was just standing there staring at her!

4. Carrying a loaded hot dog bun through an Edmonton pedway. She carried it most of the way through the pedway, let me have a 5-minute conversation with building security, and then showed me she had it while wagging her tail as if to show how good and restrained she’d been. The bun – perfectly intact – went into the garbage.

3. Barking – once – at the company CFO during a job interview. While I was busy trying to gather my composure, convinced that this would be the end of my chances with this company, the man who would later become my boss – without missing a beat – said, “Oh, that’s OK, we all act that way around him.” I worked for that company for a year and a half.

2. Walking down the hall to another office and eating the office dog’s food – while he just sat there and watched her do it. I’d been telling her for months that she had the right to scold him for being naughty, and she had done nothing; I guess this was her way of showing him who’s boss!

1. Running on to a goalball court… in the middle of a game. In her defence, who uses a squeaky toy during a game when they know there will be guide dogs present? There is video evidence of this, but I cannot seem to find it anywhere; please take my word that this is by far the most hilarious and naughtiest thing that Jenny as ever done in her life! (Update April 2, 2023, in case you missed it, I found the video!)

So, What’s Next?

I am blessed to have had more than 9 years with Jenny’s harness in my left hand. She’s more than earned this retirement. Her remaining years will be here at home, with the humans she loves, the cats she thinks she can boss around but mostly ignores, with her days full of love and attention from anyone who wants to give it, and maybe a second career as a therapy dog. I’m a better traveler – and a better human – having had her by my side during so many transitions and experiences in life. Jenny girl, you deserve the best life has to offer you; thank you for giving me the best years of your life, and mine.

2022: All of the Different Directions

31 Saturday Dec 2022

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I must start off by expressing my gratitude to my faithful family, friends and followers; this blog has had a mere 14 entries this year – including a completely abandoned Ultimate Blog Challenge on beading, which I just left hanging… for months! I do want to pick it up again… when time permits.

2022 feels a lot like that blog challenge. The best of intentions, and maybe not the best follow-through. But some amazing things happened this year, which I will be blogging about in 2023… in short (if not in order):

  • I decided to go back to school! It’s a long story, and I’m still not sure I can explain all of it, but I’m studying and learning and procrastinating and fighting accessibility battles – like most disabled students, I’m sure. There’s lots to unpack there, and I’m looking forward to exploring it further on this blog in 2023!
  • My partner and I adopted another cat! The reasons behind this are complicated, and worthy of their own story. Her name is Madonna – we call her Maddie. She and Simone (Monkey) are best buddies, even if Monkey has turned into the most fair and strict “mama cat” ever. Wolfie and Maddie are working things out between themselves, and while they aren’t quite there yet we no longer have to worry about them getting into a fight they won’t stop on their own. Maddie is VERY sweet and adorable and my regular cuddle buddy – she’s my 10-pound weighted blanket and does whatever she can to make sure I get enough sleep, even if I get it in the middle of the afternoon.
  • I ran, and completed, my third marathon! There’s no nice way to put it – my training sucked! Between some things over which I had control (my own self-directed runs) and things I did not (injuries to myself and my regular running partners) I did not run nearly enough kilometers in preparation. But after more than 6 hours (for the record, I never ever ever want to run a 6+ hour marathon again!), I crossed the finish line, and was greeted by Jenny, guide dog extraordinaire!
  • My beading room has been completely transformed this year. The walls have been painted an amazing shade that, depending on the lighting, you can’t quite put your finger on. It’s a tranquil place that I want to be, and create, and with the temporary addition of partial flooring, I no longer have to worry about getting slivers stuck in my feet – yes, this has happened! I just have to convince Maddie that my strands of beads are not toys…

No New Year’s Eve would be complete in my home without a fire in the backyard, burning away all of the stress of this year. It’s been a busy year, with many new changes around my house, and the fire makes it feel like I’m clearing space for the new year ahead.

A fire on New Year's eve, 2022

So, what Next?

Lots! And lots and lots!

When I traveled to run my most recent marathon in Sacramento earlier this month, I started to see some very clear signs that Jenny is ready to retire. Nothing major — like she needed to retire immediately – but signs that were fairly clear. She wasn’t making confident decisions like she has during her entire prior working life. I considered that I wasn’t giving her good directions, or that she was having a rest day after a long day of travel, but I knew she was ready to retire a couple of weeks later when we went to West Edmonton Mall – a place she has loved to work for years, even though I despise it – and again she acted like she wasn’t able to make decisive guiding decisions; there were too many ambiguous choices, and it was almost like she was afraid of making a mistake. She will be spending the first two weeks of 2023 guiding me around mostly familiar areas, and then will retire the day I fly to start training with Guide Dog 2.0 in mid-January.

That’s right! After a very very VERY long time of waiting, I got a phone call that a match has been found for me! It is – to quote someone I know when I first told them – really exciting and really scary and really a lot. I’ve cried a lot at the thought of Jenny retiring, even as she has shown me clearly that she is ready. She’ll probably take this easier than I will! I’m excited for a new match and all the lessons they will teach me. I am nervous to travel to train with this new guide, something Jenny and I did not do in 2013 when we trained in our home environment. There’s a whole bunch of feelings and thoughts I need to process, and this seems to all be happening so fast that I’m not sure what that will look like yet. But I do plan on blogging this training journey; I make no promises on frequency…. remember what happened last time?

I will run my fourth and fifth marathons in 2023! I’ve booked my tickets for Marathon #4 in Vancouver, and will be watching for flights to marathon #5 – again in Sacramento. To help with my training, I bought myself a second-hand treadmill that is (approximately) the same age as my partner. It’s been a process to learn how to run on it, and I feel like I’m SUPER slow, but consistency is key, and I’m gunning for two fast marathons in 2023. On that front, anyone want to guide for a portion (half) either race?

School! I am currently taking two introductory classes, one of which concludes in the end of March (if I don’t finish earlier) and one that ends in the end of April (which accessibility issues have contributed to my feeling of falling behind). But I am nothing if not persistent, and I WILL complete both courses with the best grades my persistence and mental health will allow. By the beginning of May (if not sooner), I’ll be starting courses that will contribute to my certificate program – and I can’t wait!

This blog! It’s been rather neglected for far too long, and I realize that I miss writing – like, a lot! But I don’t want to write just to write more posts; I’d like a bit more direction. So, I may take some time – after I blog about my guide dog experience – to figure out where I want this blog to go in 2023. But my intent is to write regularly – if not frequently – so keep checking your inboxes or RSS feed or however you cool kids get new updates!

How was your 2022, and what do you hope for in 2023? Drop me a line in the comments below!

The UBC Beading Edition: Wire is a Cruel Mistress

08 Saturday Oct 2022

Posted by in Ultimate Blog Challenge, Part 2

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I love working with wire.

Sometimes, I also hate working with wire.

Several years ago, I took a wire-wrapping class (more on that tomorrow). I leared a few basic techniques that I still use today. I’ve created ornaments that friends and strangers have loved, but that I don’t think I will ever make again.

The cool thing about making a piece with wire is that all you need to make it on the go are a clasp, a spool of wire, a set of wire cutters (bonus if they’re tucked nicely inside a set of pliers), and a strand of two of beads. You don’t have to worry about crimps or covers or anything else… and if you make a piece like this one, you only have to fiddle with one link at a time if you need to rework it (no need to take it all apart).

Each goldstone bead in this bracelet is wrapped in wire, and the wire loops link the beads together
Wire-wrapped bracelet

But wire is also finicky. It has a mind of its own, and does whatever it wants. More than one spool of wire has unspooled out of nowhere on me – once, memorably, in public, while I was making a custom order during a craft show. Sometimes it doesn’t cooperate with wire cutters, and I need to get out my handy dandy tool that dulls the sharp edges. Every once in a while it decides to have a mind of its own and configure into shapes I don’t want it to.

But working with wire is a true adventure… where will it take me next?

The UBC Beading Edition: Starting Again

04 Tuesday Oct 2022

Posted by in Ultimate Blog Challenge, Part 2

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It was Christmas morning, my first Christmas as a married woman. My husband and I giddily anticipated sharing the gifts we had purchased for each other. The passing of time has dulled the memory of what I gave him that Christmas, but I definitely remember what he gave me!

It was a square stand, with four rows of five drawers each – each drawer containing removable dividers – and a small mountain of beads in little baggies inside!

I was flabbergasted!

“Where… how… this is amazing! But… like… what gave you the idea?” I sputtered as I opened all the drawers and found more treasures inside.

“You told me that you used to love beading as a kid, and sometimes wish you could pick it back up again. Well, now you can!”

For the record, I have absolutely no recollection of this conversation, which is really surprising (people who know me tell me I have the memory of an elephant). But clearly some conversation somewhere spun this totally amazing idea into my (then) husband’s brain, and he took it and ran!

Neither of us had any idea about beads, tools, wire, or anything, really. I was back to stringing seed beads on wire, but I needed tools! Luckily, there was a local bead shop in my area, and when I told them to talk to me like I knew nothing – which, well, I did – I got outfitted with a mini plier kit, a pair of scissors, another spool of beading wire, and some well wishes for my next project.

My table-top case for beads was great! But it was far from portable. At that time, I traveled a lot in order to train and compete in a sport called goalball. This often had me on buses and trains, and I needed something to do with the hours I was sitting on my backside en route from one place to another. I went to a local craft shop, grabbed a travel organizer, filled it with beads, and boarded a plane.

I should’ve known something was wrong when there were beads in the bottom of my bag. Not only was this container sending seed beads tumbling out the tiny opening in the back… but all the dividers were movable, sliding ever so slightly up and down as the plane hit turbulence. I came back from my trip with a very colourful – and very disorganized – travel case. My husband spent weeks with a rounded bead retriever, painstakingly sorting through all of those beads, getting 90% of it done, only to have our new kitten decide that the tray would be fun to go digging in… And – with the patience of a saint – he did it all over again! We remember you fondly, Dasher!

I learned to bead by just doing. This was before Youtube tutorials were everywhere, and most of what was available wasn’t in accessible formats. I was able to get my hands on a “for dummies” book on the subject, which provided decent enough descriptions that I could figure a bunch of things out without seeing the pictures. But I definitely had a few false starts along the way.

I remember with fondness the first piece I made for someone else. She had worked very hard to graduate from University, and as part of my graduation gift, I made her a chain necklace with multi-coloured cubes that hung at various points around the chain. I loved the finished result – and so did she – but I couldn’t say I was crazy about working with chain. This was before I had a tactile measuring tape, so I had to use the spacing of my fingers to ensure an even look. But my friend loved what I had done, and I felt a sense of accomplishment, and wanted to make more.

But I still didn’t know what I was doing! I knew what I didn’t like – chain was annoying and finicky – and seed beads were proving to be frustrating for myself and my husband. I needed a travel case, and maybe some more tools… so what was a budding beadsmith to do?