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Life Unscripted

~ Living Life as I see it… or Don't

Life Unscripted

Monthly Archives: November 2015

#TheAbleistScript: A Poetic Response

27 Friday Nov 2015

Posted by blindbeader in blindness

≈ 5 Comments

About three weeks ago, a twitter hashtag known as #TheAbleistScript started making the rounds on twitter. It seems to be the most comprehensive, robust, and long-lasting hashtag (though certainly not the first) detailing the comments, ideas and experiences  of people with a wide variety of disabilities – blindness, deafness, autism, chronic pain, depression, and so on (the original tweets that inspired it can be found here). Despite myself, I found myself sharing my own experiences and those of others, and even found myself confronting some of my own attitudes that can be unintentionally hurtful to those who share my disability or who face different challenges entirely. It’s not always a pretty picture, but I found a companion hashtag (#TheAcceptingScript) that showed that being willing to listen and learn is the key to avoid portraying myself as ableist or, perhaps even worse, heartless and cruel).

 

I have faced many instances of ableism myself over the years, some much more hurtful and demeaning than others. I don’t get hung up on language and such unless someone is just getting weird about it, but treating me like a child or someone who can’t perform basic tasks without even asking is definitely not okay.  From being the only student in a post-secondary program forced to find a practicum before being accepted, to being turned down for jobs because of my perceived abilities, to being talked over at medical appointments, you think I would be used to it. In fact, I think the opposite is true. Since there’s only so much I can fit into a 140-character tweet, I figured I would post this as a poem, of sorts; perhaps those who experience pain and anger they can’t express may find some comfort, and I hope that this can show (in an unthreatening way) what it feels like to me to face comments, silence, and awkward interactions every day.

 

I had a job interview today.

Got myself all dressed up, with a perfect resume.

The longer the interview goes, the more comfortable I feel.

I was born for this job.

But I am told there’s no way I can perform all job duties; I know this is untrue.

Thanks for my time.

Should I thank them for theirs?

 

I’m standing at a bus stop, waiting.

It’s been a long day.

My eyes are burning and I am exhausted.

I am approached and told how cute my dog is.

I say thank you.

I am asked more questions about my guide dog, but none about myself.

I feel like I can’t redirect the conversation.

Am I invisible?

 

I decide to pick up some groceries;

I will need some assistance.

My arm is grabbed without warning

And I am expected to be polite

Because they were only trying to help.

But why not just ask first?

 

I am told I am pretty

For someone with a disability.

This has never made sense to me.

Would I be more attractive if my eyes worked?

Or if they did, would I just be average looking?

Why not just tell me I have nice hair or colouring or am wearing a nice shirt?

 

I’m on the bus home now,

My few groceries on my lap.

I am asked why there is no one out there taking care of me,

Shouldn’t someone be picking up my milk and eggs and apples for me?

I say that I can do this myself, especially since I am making dinner tonight.

I can hear the concern; I could get hurt cutting those apples.

I need to be protected from sharp objects.

But I have tools and ways of cooking safely,

But it’s easier to assume and attempt to protect me.

Why am I not asked HOW I stay safe?

 

I have been told that I am lucky that my husband can see,

That He is a good man for taking care of me.

He is a good man, for simply being my husband.

I take care of him, too.

Is that so hard to understand?

 

I am told that I am brave and inspirational

For being blind out in public.

Not locked away somewhere

Like my blindness is something to be ashamed of.

Do they hear what they’re saying?

Really hear it?

Am I the only one?

 

X marks the Spot: On Voting, Dignity, And Putting Things Away

14 Saturday Nov 2015

Posted by blindbeader in blindness

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

accessibility, dignity, elections, independence, voting

Nearly four weeks ago, Canadians elected a new Prime Minister. Citizens came out in droves to polling stations all across the country – so many, in fact, that at least one polling station in Alberta ran out of ballots.  But what often went unmentioned, except by those who experienced it firsthand, is an inconsistent process for voters with disabilities or mobility challenges.  For those with disabilities, who face discrimination and incomprehension on a regular basis, an overwhelming sentiment was felt that on October 19- a day when all Canadians were to be treated equally by casting their ballot – inequality still very much exists.

 

A Human Rights complaint was filed after a 2011 Federal election, after a voter who used a walker for mobility was forced to enter a polling station by going down a flight of stairs on his behind. A short time later, that same polling station was still in use, with the same barriers to access with walker or wheelchair. The Canadian government implemented changes for voters with disabilities, theoretically upholding the dignity of all Canadians. Four years later, progress had been made, but – as you will soon see – we still have a long way to go. Even though Elections Canada has made policies to accommodate voters with disabilities, many of these require advanced notice – whether it’s booking an ASL interpreter (if you are not able to bring one yourself) or having an Elections Canada volunteer come to your home so you can cast your ballot prior to Election Day. For Election day itself, independently accessing a voting booth is far from a simple or consistent process. From polling stations lacking clear signage for easy visibility, to inoperable or non-existent elevators, to volunteers not knowing about options for voters with visual impairments, it’s clear that voting is not as smooth for everyone as it could be.

 

I chose not to vote in this election, for a variety of personal and political reasons. But based on what several visually impaired friends have told me, the process was far from smooth or consistent. At best, one friend was guided from the front door, to filling out paperwork, to casting his ballot, and back out again. Some polling stations had large print lists of candidates with corresponding numbers, some had braille ones, some had neither. A template with braille numbers representing the candidates beside holes to mark your X could be used to hold a ballot, but there was nothing to hold the ballot in place – a potential for spoiling a ballot or voting for an unintended candidate. Many friends expressed concern over a lack of privacy, because an Elections Canada volunteer would have to place the ballot in the holder, then make sure the ballot didn’t slip. One friend of mine expressed shock that her ballot was taken from her and put in the ballot box on her behalf. Another was dismayed that she was grabbed and nearly dragged to the booth by an Elections Canada worker. Yet another had the misfortune of walking into the polling station and hearing (loudly) “Oh, here’s our first one!” and then having this same person direct all questions to her mother, who was there to cast her vote as well. Meagan even describes a completely bizarre requirement of having to write down the full name of the desired candidate – something that seemed unique to that polling station.

 

Voting is a right in this country. Perhaps because I chose not to vote, I have no right to describe or disparage the voting process. But the voters have spoken, and unfortunately, for many of the most misunderstood population, it was yet another way to be told that we aren’t quite equal, after all. I hope more steps can be taken in this country for equality for people with disabilities, whether it’s finding a job, raising a family, or voting in an election. But governments can only do so much; if attitudes don’t change, then I fear we’re just spitting into the wind.

Putting down my Sword: Why Not Everything is a Fight

05 Thursday Nov 2015

Posted by blindbeader in blindness

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

access, autonomy, defensiveness, independence, perceptions

Very recently, someone told me  in a roundabout way that I have a chip on my shoulder regarding requiring assistance from others.  After being shocked and slightly mortified by this thought, I started to think this might in fact be true.  What I decide to do about that chip, whether to ditch it all together or only use it as a fashion accessory when strictly necessary, will only come with time.

 

Everyone needs help with some things sometimes, but as it comes to needing something specifically because of my blindness, I hate being at the mercy of someone else.  Whether it’s reading a restaurant menu, filling out a medical form, using the convenience of a car rather than a long complicated bus route, or voting (hopefully next week’s blog post).  Requesting assistance with this feels so much like I am less complete, less whole of a person, that I find myself instantly on the defensive when I am required to ask for help for things like a computer not working properly, for directions to the bank, or other things that everyone needs help with sometimes.  My default mode has been “FIGHT!” for so long – fighting for education, employment, and (thankfully rarely) access challenges with my guide dog, that perhaps I don’t know how to simply just… well, to just be.  But I don’t want to go so far the other way, to expect people to do things for me that I am more than capable of doing for myself.  I fight that stereotype all the time, too, that I am not capable because I cannot see.

 

Some of these fights are external and necessary; they make us stronger, and (hopefully) educate a public who doesn’t know what to do with us, and help pave the way for those who come behind us.  Some of these fights are internal and necessary; am I, as a woman, doing all I can to be happy, healthy, productive, learning new skills and enjoying my life?  But a constant defensiveness doesn’t help anyone either; in fact, it alienates the very people we are trying to reach.  Asking for help is not, in and of itself, a sign of weakness… And yet… I still feel this way, and probably a little piece of me always will.  But my sword is being shelved for a while, because fighting myself under the guise of fighting against others is probably more exhausting than just being me.  To those I have hurt in this way, please let me know; we may not agree, and that’s OK, but I want to be viewed as a woman (not a blind woman); I crave acceptance alongside my autonomy, and may need your help to get there.  Perhaps I should take my own advice in a previous post: be quick to listen, slow to speak harshly, and keep an open mind.

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