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~ Living Life as I see it… or Don't

Life Unscripted

Tag Archives: discovery

Girl on the Run: you do WHAT with Your Guide Dog?

20 Friday May 2016

Posted by blindbeader in blindness

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

bonding, discovery, growing up, guide dogs, learning lessins, running

Until this past year, I didn’t consider myself a runner. Before I played goalball, I didn’t consider myself an athlete, either. Growing up, I firmly believe it had little or nothing to do with my blindness, but my interests went in different directions (music and books and learning languages, mostly). But in the way of most schools everywhere, all students – including this bookish, creative blind student were made to do things they aren’t interested in, or even want to do… something I whined about at the time, but am grateful for today. I try not to think about this much, as is the way of most high school memories… but I’m sharing it with you because… well, because I want to.

Grade 8, PE class. The time of year that all the students go for a 3 mile run (the exact distance I’m not quite sure of; the fact I was completely unprepared for it, I have no doubt). I was an out-of-shape thirteen-year-old who hadn’t done much physical activity since walking away from competitive trampoline more than a year earlier. I found myself walking more than running, but something in my brain clicked about 200 yards before the end of the run. My legs just went and took over my body and my brain, and I was running flat out. I know people were calling my name, I know at one point they were screaming at me to stop, but my feet and legs and body kept moving, and I just couldn’t stop… until I ran full-speed into a telephone pole.

I gave up running after that. To this day I don’t know if it was the fact that my interests truly did go in different directions, or the thought that I was too embarrassed to risk getting another shiner on my forehead. I was a blind kid with little true desire for physical activity, and – even though I was encouraged to pursue track and field – I resented the idea that I would need a sighted guide runner whose pace I would likely slow down, and it all just sounded so unfair. Besides, I had other things that took up most of my time, so I didn’t really miss it much.

I often think about that path not taken these days, since taking up running again. I’ve done a fundraising run in support of the local blind sports organization for the past five or six years, but beyond that, until this past couple years, it hasn’t been a burning need for me. Maybe if I had the confidence to run, or easier access to guide runners locally, or just more time to kill, maybe I would have done this sooner. But I can’t think that way, really, because it’s time to look forward, not back. I’m lacing up my shoes, harnessing up my guide dog, and going for a run.

Whoa whoa whoa! I am doing what?

I’ve written before about running with my guide, but since it’s a relatively unusual activity to do with one’s guide dog, and I get asked a zillion questions about why I would do this at all, here’s the route I’ve taken to this point, and where I want to go.

It all started a couple years ago after the fundraising run; I had made a great connection with my guide runner, and she and I agreed to go running together. This would involve going home from work, leaving my guide at home, taking my cane, catching the bus, going for a run, catching the bus home… and to me, that was a lot of planning for a quick run, as much as I loved running with my friend. Add to this the fact that I have a guide dog who genuinely likes to go fast (and occasionally we have “arguments” about such things), and I figured I could at least try running with her.

A friend makes sports-style harnesses and I asked her to make one for me. It has a lot of room for the dog to move and acts like a traditional harness in all other ways. The pull in the handle took some getting used to, but once I understood the feeling of the pull in the harness, we were ready to go! I started small (like, around the block small); if Jenny hated it, I didn’t want to make her run with me. She took to it so quickly that over just a few weeks, then months, we increased our speed, distance and complexity of routes. Our winter was short, so it didn’t take long for us to really get moving this spring. This past month alone, we have done our longest run ever (more than 7 km), had our fastest ever run longer than 5 km, and did our first ever big group run in support of the Fort mcMurray evacuees. That last wasn’t a flawless experience, but it taught me how to handle it, and gave me hope for other big group running events later on in the spring and summer, and even beyond. My goal is to run an organized 10K by the end of the season; we’re well on our way!

I’ve made some mistakes along the way – misjudging if my guide wanted water (the answer is usually “no”) or underestimating her willingness to go at fast speeds – but when we have this matching jogging-pace speed and are completely in sync, there’s no feeling like it. Many people ask me if I’ve ever been hurt; the answer is yes, but it’s got nothing to do with Jenny and everything to do with my thinking I know more than she does. If I listen to her quick, decisive, flawless guiding moves, I know I’m in good paws. More than once I let Jenny set the route (or, at the very least, don’t direct her as much); our neighborhood is a veritable labyrinth of angled sidewalks, roads that intersect and curve around back to each other – a residential runner’s paradise. I can focus on my feet, on my music (90s music is the best to run to!), on the feeling of wind in my face and the smell of pine sap in the air. I don’t have to think too much about where I’m going, what street I’ve crossed, if I’m lost or not, I can just run. I know my guide will run me home when she needs a drink of water.

Beauty is NOT just in the eye of the Beholder

10 Friday Jul 2015

Posted by blindbeader in blindness

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

beauty, discovery, perception, Senses

Sometimes people treat blindness like it’s this endless world of darkness.  Of course, in a sense of visual acuity, this might be the case for some, but certainly not all of us who live with vision impairment.  And in the figurative sense, nothing could be further from the truth.  When someone makes such comments about how drab and boring my life is, the conversation goes something like this.

Random person (RP): “Oh, I’m so sorry you can’t see.”

Me: “It’s not so bad.”

RP: “But you can’t see sunsets or pictures or…”

Me: “True, but I–”

RP: “That must be so tragic.”

And it continues in this vain.  Vision is so integral to sighted life – and, as my friend Leona so eloquently put it, such a greedy sense – that the idea of living without it is viewed as more terrifying than premature death.  I would even go so far as to state that we who live without seeing such beautiful things as sunsets, loved ones, photographs and mountaintops – or seeing them imperfectly – are thought of as “broken” people.

 

But just because I can’t see much at all – or others I’ve met in person or through social media can’t see things clearly – doesn’t mean that beautiful things can’t be appreciated visually.  Last week, I found this gorgeous article by Nicole C. Kear, author of the terrific memoir “Now I see You.”  In the article, she briefly describes what it was like to discover there would be a point at which she wouldn’t be able to see anymore, and a recent experience where she accidentally left her Iphone at home and realized she could still visually catch beautiful things around her.  I found it poignant and moving, and have enjoyed seeing her journey of losing her sight – from “carpe diem” to acceptance, sometimes one in spite of the other.  The world can also be captured through photography, and one doesn’t necessarily need great vision to create works of photographic art.  Not long ago, Dudley Hanks was interviewed about his work as a freelance photographer; in another interview, he showed how technology aids him in capturing, touching up, and developing his photos.

 

But what about those of us who’ve never had vision to begin with and have no memory or reference to colour?  Or those who simply don’t process the world visually?  We are by no means left out when it comes to enjoying the beautiful things of life.  Some have a terrific ear for music, others can identify the call of many birds around the world, still others are fantastic chefs and can find the perfect herb or spice to enhance a dish’s flavour or aroma.  I enjoy working with my hands, particularly with beads; the contrast of size and shape (and, yes, colour) is breathtaking to me.  If you’ve never gone into a bead shop, closed your eyes, and just let your fingers run through the hung strands of beads, take the opportunity and enjoy one of life’s simple pleasures.  Do as I did last weekend and take a step outside on a warm summer night (provided it’s safe to do so), close your eyes and enjoy the quiet of an evening (or the sounds of children laughing), the smell of neighborhood barbecues and backyard fire pits, and the feel of the grass between your toes  without all that greedy vision to distract you.

 

Are there times I wish I could fully see my loved ones’ faces, photographs, and nature, or get in my car and just take a scenic drive through the mountains just because it’s my heart’s desire?  Sure, of course there are.  But I think in some ways my lack of vision has allowed me to appreciate some of those little things that I can smell and touch and hear without the greediest of the five senses hijacking my enjoyment.  And just because someone’s vision isn’t perfect, it doesn’t mean it can’t be used to capture some truly beautiful things visually.  The world can be a wonderful place, filled with sights, sounds, smells, textures and flavours; treating sight like it’s the only way to appreciate beauty is itself a way of denying oneself an enhanced appreciation of beautiful things themselves.

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